


Remembering You (boyxboy)

by starlightsharky



Category: korean - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Korean Characters, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Male Homosexuality, Modern Era, POV Alternating, POV Male Character, Realistic, Romance, Secret Crush, Sweet, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26872264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlightsharky/pseuds/starlightsharky
Summary: 21-year-old Yoo Hyun-ki and Lee Chanwoo are two boys who have been best friends since Junior High. A terrible accident sends Chanwoo into a coma, leaving Hyun-Ki to diligently wait for his return to consciousness. The thing is, Chanwoo was never just his best friend. To Hyun-ki, he was always so much more than that. However, when new feelings seem to suddenly arise after the accident, things start to stir and blur the line between best friends and something more. This leaves both boys with a lot of figuring out to do and an unexpected journey to embark on- that is, if these new and unexplored territories can be welcomed on both parts.~ a love story from both points of view
Kudos: 1





	1. accident

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so so so much for giving this story a chance! I'll only be posting the first view chapters here, but you can read the whole thing (it's ongoing~) on Wattpad! You can find me there @sharkymaru or by following this link: 
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Much love
> 
> ~ Sharky εïз

**Hyun-ki**

I remembered the day it all happened like it had occurred just seconds ago. Every time I closed my eyes, I would remember the uneasy clench my stomach gave as I wake to my phone ringing sinfully loud in the early morning.

It was that sickening feeling that crept up your spine when you just knew something was wrong.

Mrs. Lee's voice rang through my ears, frantic and hurried, tears choking her as she tried to voice the most painful ones I'd ever heard.

"Chanwoo's been in an accident-" she started, a sob wracking through her as she sniffled silently, "he's-he's out cold." Her voice shook.

I didn't know what to say or how to react. Nobody ever thinks anything bad will happen before it does. He'd been out drinking with colleagues earlier that night. His deep, honey-like voice still echoed in my head and thrummed through my veins.

"C'mon, Ki," he'd said, "why don't you come with me? None of the guys will mind if I bring you along."

He'd tried to get me to go out with me him and some of his buddies from work. The few of his friends from work that I'd met we're perfectly nice, but I was never one to intrude. Also, pubs and drinking aren't really my thing.

The thing is, is that Lee Chanwoo is responsible. He knows his limit, and he knows when and where it's okay to cross it. I knew from the beginning that the accident wasn't due to him being intoxicated, but due to someone else.

"Where are you?" My voice was raspy with sleep, words caught thick in my throat. Anxiety bit at the skin no longer covered by my warm blankets as I sprang up from bed once I'd realized that what was happening was not a dream, not just a horrible nightmare, but reality.

If only it had been a dream. I wouldn't be here for the second week, the fourteenth day in a row, staring at his body from this uncomfortable chair next to the hospital bed.

If only he was awake and showing that gleaming, brighter than a million stars smile that he was known for.

If only his mind were free instead of trapped in this seemingly inescapable wrath of sleep.


	2. abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for giving this story a chance! I'll only be posting the first view chapters here, but you can read the whole thing (it's ongoing~) on Wattpad! You can find me there @starlightsharky or by following this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Much love
> 
> ~ Sharky εïз

**Chanwoo**

I don't remember how exactly it happened.

Everything was fine. I was driving down the highway, only about a mile away from the exit leading to town.

Then, everything went dark. The impact of the hit shook my bones.

My eyes saw nothing, and my body was numb.

The last thing I heard through a fuzzy static was the sound of footsteps running toward me and the hazy siren of an ambulance in the distance.

After that, everything had been different. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't move my hands or legs or head and, worst of all, I couldn't move my lips.

They kept asking me, "Mr. Lee," frantically, "can you hear us?" Over and over again.

It was an endless mantra. The worst part was that, even though I could hear them, I couldn't tell them so.

I could think, I could formulate thoughts and words and feelings, but I couldn't express them.

I knew by then what was going on. I was unconscious.

Although I could feel, it was mostly mental for the first few days. Then, I started to be able to feel a slight tingle in my fingers when someone touched me. I only knew the day had passed into night when a nurse would come in and speak to me for a minute. She sounded old, voice frail and aged in the most comforting way.

Nobody knew if I could hear them, or if I was even more than just an empty shell at that point. The point is, is that she still tried. She would tuck me in slightly, murmuring a goodnight and Good morning. If it weren't for that, then I would've thought it all was just one never ending nightmare that I hadn't yet woke up from.

My family visited often, mostly my mother and father at first. Then, my brother came eventually. We'd always been close, but getting older meant that we both had our own lives and we didn't see much of each other anymore.

I remember the sound of my mother's sobs next to my bed, and the sound of Seokjin trying to console her, but even his own voice was thick with pain, betraying his strong words.

The most painful thing, however, was when they'd gone home. Nobody knew when or if I'd be up. The doctors expressed their concerns on the matter and, for lack of better words, said that it was a waiting game. There was nothing they could do to make me wake up. The trauma to my head from the crash had done damage, but they said it could've been worse. I'd thought I was alone, and I didn't know when anyone would be back to see me.

A big part of me hoped that they wouldn't be back to see me so soon. I didn't want them to see me lying there looking like I was an inch away from death. I didn't want them to hurt anymore than they already did.

But then, I felt it.

A chair somewhere to my left, seemingly close, scraped against the floor. Then, someone sat down. It must have been late into the night I didn't know who it was until I heard that worried, exhausted sigh that I knew like the back of my hand. The tone, the way the breath escaped his mouth, it was the same as when we were little.

"Chanwoo," he started, voice cracking around the edges and splintering through my heart all the same, "I tried-" he paused, voice shaking, breath stuttering out of his throat, "I tried to come in and see you earlier, but they wouldn't let me. T-they said only family was allowed."

Something tightened around my left hand, squeezing and shaking slightly. If id been able to fully feel it, I know it'd felt warm and soft, comforting and full of care just as it always had, just like he always had.

"Chan," he muttered, whimpering lowly from next to me. I felt something press on my chest. The weight was refreshing and not enough all at once. It reminded me that I was in fact alive, that I wasn't completely numb after all like the white blur all around me was trying to make me think "please be okay."

He repeated it over and over. His voice was closer to me than before, and I then knew that the weight on my chest was his head. He'd been pressed close to me, begging me to be okay, to wake up and be better.

If only I could do just that.

What hurt the most was that I couldn't reach down and stroke the back of his head, twist my fingers in the soft locks of his platinum hair, the way that always calmed him down the quickest.

I couldn't wrap my arms around him and tell him that I could hear him, that I knew it wasn't his fault that he couldn't see me until then- that I wasn't mad at him.

As he sobbed into my chest, body wracking with uncontrollable pain, I could only lay there, still as a rock on the hospital bed.

I could only scream in my head, over and over again until my brain forced me to give up.

Hyun-Ki, I hear you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Remember, if you'd like to read the whole story so far you can find it on Wattpad @starlightsharky or by using this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Have a great rest of your day/night! .· * • ˚
> 
> ~ Sharky <3


	3. sleeping beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for giving this story a chance! I'll only be posting the first view chapters here, but you can read the whole thing (it's ongoing~) on Wattpad! You can find me there @starlightsharky or by following this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Much love
> 
> ~ Sharky εïз

**Hyun-ki**

The white walls around us were suffocating. They seemed to mock you, staring through your eyes and into the very bottom of your soul. 

They were too blank, too modern. There was no comfort, no decoration or color. 

The only sound was the steady beep of Chanwoo's heart rate monitor. At first, I'd spend hours staring at the screen, watching each rise and fall of his pulse and drink in the sound of each beat. It was the only reminder that he was in fact still alive, even if he looked the opposite. 

The head nurse had came in to speak to me earlier in the morning, just a few minutes after I'd arrived. She'd thought Chanwoo's mother was the one signed in as visiting, but instead walked in to see me sitting beside him, quiet as always. I'd started to feel that if I made too much noise, I'd be disturbing a sort of sacred peace surrounding the sleeping boy on the bed. 

Sure, it was stupid. It wasn't like he could just wake up due to a loud noise and shake off the coma as if it never happened, but I wanted to be able to do something-anything to keep him comfortable. I didn't know if he could hear me, or if he even knew he wasn't alone, but I wanted to surround him in a bubble of safety and hide him away from anything that could possibly disturb his gently closed eyes and parted lips.

"Dr. Kim received Mr. Lee's most recent MRI scan results," she'd stated, her voice gentle, "there...isn't any news. His brain activity is still solid, but it's unknown when or if he'll be up anytime soon." 

My chest deflated, and my eyes closed. I felt her frail hand clasp my shoulder, softly patting in a way that I'm sure she assumed to be comforting. I didn't need pity. I wasn't the one lying unconscious on a hospital bed for the 4th week in a row. 

A month. 

He'd been in a coma for a month. 

I wasn't the one standing somewhere between life and death. 

Chanwoo was. 

I turned my head, swallowing down the lump that was trying so desperately to form in my throat, "what does that mean?" I looked at Chanwoo's motionless form next to me, and then back to her soft brown eyes, "he could still wake up, right?" My voice had gone slightly frantic, the thought of losing him for good making my pulse spike and a cold sweat line my hairline.

She looked at me with a small, sad smile on her thin lips, clasping her hands in front of her and taking a step toward the door, "...does Mr. Lee have a chosen Health Care Proxy?" She looked down for a moment, shutting her eyes slightly and then blinking back up to me.

My heart crashed through my ribcage and down into my stomach. My throat seemed to close as her words hit me. 

Health Care Proxy?

How should I know? Neither of us had ever been in such a serious health situation before, and I assumed that his parents were the ones he trusted most to make such drastic decisions involving his health if he wasn't able to do so himself. 

"I don't know," I told her, my eyes rimmed with fresh tears as I thought of the boy on the bed next to me. I wondered if he could hear the conversation. I wondered what he was thinking. 

"Well," she started, taking a deep breath, "Dr. Kim will be getting in touch with Mr. Lee's family to decide what measures to take shortly. Have a good day, sir." With that, she left the room, closing the pristine white door behind her and leaving me with the endless flow of horrible thoughts that stuck in my mind like a stain that I couldn't scrub away. 

Why would she ask about a Health Care Proxy? People can be in a coma for months and still wake up. Why would she talk about taking drastic measures this early on? 

I had too many questions and not enough answers. I knew she was only doing her job, but I couldn't fathom the thought of somebody simply signing a form that decided Chanwoo's fate. 

We can't give up.

It doesn't matter how long it takes. He'll wake up. He has to wake up. 

I know he'll wake up. 

I tear rolled down my cheek, betraying me as it dropped down onto my jeans. I rested my head in my hands, elbows propped against my thighs. I didn't want to cry anymore. I'd cried so much in the past month that you could surely fill a running river with my tears. It didn't make me feel any better, it just made me feel even more useless. It was a reminder that there was nothing I could possible do to fix things. 

I looked at him, the steady rise and fall of his chest doing nothing to ease the sickness I felt in my gut. It hurt so bad. I watched him almost everyday. I barely ate, barely slept, and when I had to go back to the magazine firm to work, it was only then that I'd force myself to leave. 

My own bed felt foreign to me. My body had become more accustomed to the hard chair propped next to Chanwoo's hospital bed then my own home. 

On days where his family would visit, I'd give them privacy. They didn't need to see another person crying over their son, they didn't need anymore pain. After the first couple of weeks, I couldn't take seeing his parents and brother sitting there, just waiting. 

Waiting for any sign of movement, any flutter of an eye or twitch of a finger. The disappointment that left with them each time ate me from inside out, so much that I'd stop showing during times I knew they'd be there. I couldn't bear to see Mrs. Lee's eyes filled with so much pain that they were completely empty. I couldn't watch as Mr. Lee would shake his head, embracing his wife as she sobbed into his chest. It was a sick reminder that this was all real.

I'd gotten mental health leave from work for the most part. Luckily my boss had been understanding enough and knew how much of an impact that the situation was having on me. However, a couple days a week, for a few hours, I'd go back to work. I'd sit at my desk and edit some articles or research and help out with anything else I could possibly get my hands on. 

It offered a small sense of normalcy in the huge, giant black hole that I'd been trapped in. If I worked hard enough, if I read enough articles and wrote enough manuscripts, it almost felt like before. 

On Fridays, it almost felt like I'd get a call from Chanwoo asking when I was coming over for movie night and what food I wanted to have for dinner. 

But then 5 pm would hit, and it would all come crashing back to me, punching a hole through my chest and strangling my lungs. 

The only calls or messages I would get were from Chanwoo's parents or his bother, checking up on me or giving me any news they'd heard from doctors. 

Nothing was how it was before- morning was back to normal. This was reality. 

Chanwoo wasn't calling me, an evident smile on his full cherry lips through the speaker and a crinkle at the corner of his almond eyes.

Those eyes were shut, those usually plump, luscious lips chapped. His warm skin had taken a paler hue, less golden and more white, closer to mine. His raven hair lay ruffled like a dark halo around his head, painting a shadow on the ivory pillow underneath him. His bangs dipped into his eyes, having grown in the time he'd been asleep, and as I brushed it away from his forehead, I couldn't help but let my fingers linger on his skin. 

He was still so soft. It didn't matter that he hadn't seen the sun in weeks, or that he lay still for so long that I was sure if I moved him he would crack. He was still so warm, so soothing to touch. He was still my Chanwoo, my best friend since primary school, the one I loved more than I could ever tell him; my everything. 

In this moment, if I had a blank canvas and a brush, I would paint him how he was before, when he was healthy and awake and towering inches taller than me, looking at me with those soft eyes and that permanent goofy smirk etched onto his lips. 

I would paint him how I want to remember him, not how I see him now. I wouldn't pain the empty shell of a man I saw laying there, hooked up to monitors and unnervingly still. 

A part of me worried that the old Lee Chanwoo was gone, and that he was only a memory. It felt like he was gone, like his body was still here, but his mind was somewhere completely different. 

All I need is him. If I can't see that smile again, then at least I can still see those lips. 

If I can't see those eyes staring into mine again, then at least I can still see those eyelashes casting a ghost of a shadow onto his cheeks. 

If I can't feel his warm embrace, then at least I can hold his hand, even if he can't squeeze back. 

Even if he never came back the same, if he lay here asleep for eternity, I would stay here. 

I would continue to see him every day, to touch him and talk to him. I'd let him know that I'm here and that he's not alone, that I still believe in him; that I'm still waiting for him to wake up. 

It doesn't matter how he changes from this moment forward. If I can't get him back how he was before, then I'd adapt to the new him. I won't give up. He won't give up. 

As long as his heart still beats, I'll stay here watching over this sleeping beauty until my own stops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Remember, if you'd like to read the whole story so far you can find it on Wattpad @starlightsharky or by using this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Have a great rest of your day/night! .· * • ˚
> 
> ~ Sharky <3


	4. i chose you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for giving this story a chance! I'll only be posting the first view chapters here, but you can read the whole thing (it's ongoing~) on Wattpad! You can find me there @starlightsharky or by following this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Much love
> 
> ~ Sharky εïз

**Chanwoo**

It's like floating in an endless sea, flying over the clouds, and free-falling off a cliff all at once.

It's like hearing and feeling everything but knowing nothing at the same time.

I notice things now that I never did before. With my sight covered by a constant white haze, touch and sound were all I had to rely on.

There were times when I faded in and out, like a vintage stereo that couldn't get tuned just right.

In a way, it was refreshing. At first, I didn't know if I was dead or alive, but when I heard the fuzzy bustle of medical staff around me day after day, and heard murdered voices of those I loved, I knew I wasn't completely gone. At least, not yet.

Then, I started to be able to pick up sounds more clearly. Everything was sharper, more vivid. It was like somebody pulled out the cotton that had been in my ears, allowing me to hear everything in its raw, untainted form.

The faint, cloudy murmurs formed into full sentences, making sense and containing meaning. In a sick, twisted way that felt selfish, it made things worse. I heard every word the doctors said, and I heard the responses of my family and friends. I had to hear their cries and distressed voices ghost around me until it all faded back out and I was gone again. I had to hear the reminder that, once again, there was no news. I had to listen as they tried to force hope down my loved ones' throats when it was obvious that even they were losing patience in the matter.

However, it always came back, and it was getting more frequent. Before, I'd only been able to pick up on a few things on and off until I was sucked back under the inevitable sleep my body was trapped in. Now, I could stay for longer, and I was able to remember bits and pieces of things I'd previously heard.

It was like my brain was trying to wake me up, piece me together like a puzzle. It started with my ears, and traveled to my fingers, letting me feel again.

Despite the hope I so desperately was clutching onto, I was filled to the brim with worry. What if there's a missing piece to this puzzle? What if I can't get out back together just right? What if I'm never the same again?

It feels like, although my body is working to awaken, my fate is in my own unmoving hands. It feels like if I give up, so will my mind. My brain will turn off and go numb, and my heart will cease its beating.

I can't let that happen. I have far too much to live for.

I can hear them around me right now. I hear my mother humming absently as she stroked my head, and I hear my father's foot tapping insistently on the surely cold, shiny floor beneath us. He always did that when he was anxious.

I also heard the gentle, steady breathing of Hyun-Ki to my left. It was subtle, and barely there if you didn't focus on it. Him just being there helped settle the anxiety nestled deep in my gut. If I wake up-when I wake up, I'll thank him every day for staying by my side; for never giving up on me when it was clear that everyone else was beginning too.

They would never admit it, but I could tell that my parents were no longer in denial. They'd been pushed into icy water, a cinderblock chained to their ankles, drowning into reality with no way back up to the surface of false hope and fake comfort. They faced the cold truth.

Their responses had become less frantic, and more knowing. My mother no longer sobbed as she saw me unmoving day after day, visit after visit. My father no longer tried to talk to me after she left the room, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I could hear him.

My brother stopped coming altogether. They said if something changed, they'd let him know. I can't blame him. What's the use of waiting around for something that might not even happen?

The door opened with a creak, and a series of confident footsteps that I learned were Dr. Kim's echoed through the room. I'd heard him greet my parents and Hyun-ki before settling somewhere to my right. I guess I seemed to have good timing when it came to 'waking up'.

"So," he started, clearing his throat and rustling through papers that I could only assume were my files, "we should discuss any further steps that may be needed to take, Mrs. and Mr. Lee." I heard my mother make a sound of understanding, urging him to continue, "I see that you've gotten a hold of your lawyer, and it has been noted that Chanwoo has chosen a Health Care Proxy and filled out the forms a couple of years ago." I heard mumbles of understanding again before he paused.

An eery silence enveloped the room, and I wished nothing more than to open my eyes and scream to stop; to stop talking about this because I can hear and I'll wake up, I just need time. I wanted to scream to be more patient, to not lose hope on me just yet.

I couldn't. Instead, I had to lay there and listen as he continued.

"His chosen Health Care Proxy is Yoo Hyun-Ki, is that correct?" he questioned. I heard a low gasp from my left and the chair squared as it was pushed backward.

"W-what?" Hyun-ki's voice rang out weak and frail in the empty coldness of the room. I hadn't told him. I didn't know anything like this would happen. I hoped it would never come to this, "what are you talking about? He never said anything to me- are you sure?" I heard him collapse back into the chair, weak and voice shaking.

Please, don't be mad at me.

"Mr. Yoo," Dr. Kim stated, keeping his voice low and steady, "by law, you are the one Mr. Lee has chosen to make any further decisions regarding his health now that he cannot speak and voice his wishes himself. As you all know, a coma usually only lasts for up to a few weeks, during which time the individual may start to gradually wake up and gain consciousness. We've been taking numerous scans, but neurological activity hasn't changed much in the last couple of weeks.." his voice wavered off, giving them time to take in information.

I heard him step away from my side and move toward the opposite side of the room to where my parents were stood before he continued, "He May very well progress into a different state of unconsciousness, which is a vegetative or minimally conscious state. It's up to you to decide when and if you'd like to let go." Hyun-Ki was silent. He said nothing, the only sound being his shaky breath and frequent tapping of his foot against the floor. I could tell his mind was reeling.

"Hyun-Ki," my mother started, I could hear her stepping closer to him as she spoke, "this is what he wanted. It's not up to us anymore. We know you'll do the right thing. We trust you." I heard a shaky sob, and at first, I wasn't sure who it was from. It wasn't my father, and it was too low to be my mother's.

Don't cry, Hyun-Ki. Don't cry for me, please. I chose you for a reason.

"I-I don't understand," his voice quivered, and I could imagine the tremble of his lips as his eyes welled with fresh, salty tears, "Why me? Why not one of you?" Nobody responded. Perhaps, they didn't know what to say. After all, it wasn't anyone else's decision.

Truth is, I didn't choose my parents because I could never put that pressure on them. If my life was ever in their hands, it would kill them to let go. My brother had his own family now, and I couldn't let him face that stress on his own. It had to be Hyun-Ki, it had to. He knows me better than anyone, he knows me better than I knew myself, I think.

He's always been there for me, since sixth grade. Ever since I'd got into a fight with Min Hoseok after school and he'd helped drag my bruised form to the nurse's office, he always seemed to know what I needed. The small boy was a stranger at the time. He didn't have to help me at all, but his heart was triple the size of his entire being. He was too good for this cruel world.

He'll know when it's time to let go; when it's okay to give up on me for good. He knows everything, and he knows what's best for me, too. He wouldn't keep me alive if he knew I was hurting. He wouldn't let me live in a permanent state of misery.

What I know most is that he won't give up on me so soon. Not yet.

I felt my chest rise and fall steadily, the machine I was hooked up to aiding that process. I wished desperately that someone would notice something- that maybe if I tried hard enough I could move a finger or grunt or do anything to get someone's attention.

It didn't work. No matter how hard I try to move or scream or do anything but think, it doesn't work. I'd heard Dr. Kim leave after bidding a respectful and professional goodbye. I heard my parents gather their things, and felt as my mother planted a kiss against my cool forehead. My father patted my shoulder and let his hand linger there for a moment before peeling it away and walking away. For some reason, it hurt. It felt like he was letting go of me more and more every time he would come.

I heard my mother console Hyun-Ki from next to me, trying to soothe him. He'd fallen silent. For a reason I don't quite know, it was almost worse hearing him make no noise at all; like he was too numb to cry any longer.

Like it was too much for him, all because of me.

I'm sorry.

"Are you leaving soon?" I heard her ask him, his quiet sniffles dying down to almost none, "you should try to get some sleep."

"No," he started, attempting to clear the emotional choking his tired, hoarse throat, "I'm gonna stay for a while." I heard his chair squeal against the floor as it was scooter closer to my bed, and I felt a two hands clasp around my own, squeezing gently. I'm not going to stop trying. I won't stop trying until he gives up on me.

Long after her footsteps echoed out of the room, he stayed. He sat there next to me and combed back the hair on my forehead, fingers gentle and dainty, as if he was scared that I would crack at any moment. He cares so much. He always had.

Why do you care so much?

All I could hear was his gentle breathing. I wish he would talk. I wish he would say anything. My head started to get foggy, and I started to fade slowly at first, and then all at once as his fingers found their way into my hair, curling into my locks softly, the way that always helped my fall asleep.

As I faded once again, I couldn't help but plead once more, in hopes that maybe he would hear a drowsy ghost of a voice floating through the air. Give me some more time, I can do this.

Don't give up on me, Ki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Remember, if you'd like to read the whole story so far you can find it on Wattpad @starlightsharky or by using this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Have a great rest of your day/night! .· * • ˚
> 
> ~ Sharky ☪


	5. why

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for giving this story a chance! I'll only be posting the first view chapters here, but you can read the whole thing (it's ongoing~) on Wattpad! You can find me there @starlightsharky or by following this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Much love
> 
> ~ Sharky εïз

**Hyun-ki**

Everything feels numb.

Looking at his motionless body, I can't stop wondering why.

Why me? Why me, of all people you could choose to hold your life in their hands, why me?

It never ceases to amaze me how his perfect complexion is still soft and even. Any normal person would look horrendous at this point. Their hair would be disheveled around their head, their lips pale and cracked, body an empty vessel.

Chanwoo doesn't look like that. His dark hair splayed around him like a halo, reminding me just how perfect he actually is. His lips are still full, a little chapped, but still welcoming. His brows are laid perfectly straight and effortlessly groomed above his resting eyes.

It made me wonder if he looked the same to everyone else, or if my love for this boy made me blind to reality. It couldn't possibly. Chanwoo has always been loved by all. He was the boy that girls giggled about in the back of the classroom and the handsome young man that all guys wanted to be or be friends with.

It always made me feel out of place. As he would hook his strong arm around my narrow shoulders after school, ready to walk home, I felt the stares of others. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what they were always thinking, it was obvious. Also, I'd heard more than enough whispered insults floating through the air as we'd pass by our peers.

'What the hell is Chanwoo doing with him?'

'Chanwoo and Hyun-Ki are best friends? Of all people? Isn't he embarrassed?'

'Who would've thought the prince would befriend a nerd like him?'

I understood their view, though. Why would someone so perfect and popular possibly want to be friends with me? What did he have to gain? Nothing, I couldn't give him anything.

The only thing I had to offer was a promise that I'd always be there for him, day or night, no matter what. He'd promised me the same, and that meant everything. To me, his social status meant nothing. The Lee Chanwoo that others knew was still the sweet, cheeky, loving one that I did too. He was always himself, always real.

All because I helped him walk to the nurse's office that one day after he'd gotten into a brawl, I thought he felt indebted to me. I hated it. I did what I did because it was the right thing to do. I didn't know who started the fight at the time, but it didn't matter. Min Hoseok was the biggest asshole in the grade, and everyone knew it. He picked fights for fun, to get a rise out of people. It didn't surprise me when I found out later that he was the one who'd started it that day.

In a selfish way, I'm thankful for that. Sure, I never want Chanwoo to be in pain and I would never want him to go through any inconveniences, but that day is what brought us together.

If I hadn't stumbled across the scene after tutoring; if I hadn't seen a group of boys running away as they heard someone coming, I might not have ever spoken to him.

——— flashback ———

I slung the strap of my bookbag over my shoulder as I rounded the corner to a back alley of the school. It wasn't the most scenic walk home, but it was faster to leave this way rather than walk through the main gates and have to walk around the entire building.

Just as I'd stepped into the cold, desolate alley, my ears were bombarded with shouts and disgruntled groans of discomfort. I stopped moving, afraid of being seen.

Sunlight flooded in from the opposite end of the alley, leaving the group of boys a mass of shadows, their features blurry and their forms too far away to be distinguishable.

I gulped as fists flew through the air, clashing into each other and pulling and yanking on shirts and neckties. I couldn't tell how long the fight had been going on, but as I took a step backward to walk away from the scene, my foot kicked a pebble.

I cursed inwardly, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping more than anything that they didn't hear me. Instead of running at me full speed and knocking me to the ground as I expected, hurried footsteps clambered down on the pavement as about five or six boys ran the other direction, out of the alley, and hopped over the fence protecting school property from the public.

"Shit," one of them exclaimed, all confidence gone and worry thick in his voice before they scattered, "somebody's coming! Let's go!" As soon as their bodies could no longer be seen, I was about to turn and leave, pretending I'd never seen anything. It would mean taking the long way home, but I didn't know if there were more of them on the other side of the alley and the last thing I needed was to get into trouble with a bunch of rebellious pre-teens. I was about to turn on my heel when I noticed something slumped against the wall. I squinted and took one step closer, trying to analyze what it was.

Then, a struggled cough wheezed out from the form against the brick wall, and I gasped, realizing that it was surely a person.

Before I could think twice, I started toward the person, my pulse rabbiting in my neck. The early evening wind chilled my neck and face, the only skin not covered by my school uniform or coat. The dark alley felt ghostly and eery as my pace quickened, a sick ache in the pit of my stomach. The closer I got, the more worried and anxious I became.

As I came to a halt in front of the person, my breath caught in my throat. Seeing him up close, I vaguely recognized him. He transferred to my homeroom class this semester. He was always surrounded by friends, and never got picked on by our teacher. His name was something that started with a 'C', but I couldn't remember exactly what. Changkyun? Chunghee? Chiwon, maybe?

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't just stand there and continue to stare at him. I also couldn't just walk away and pretended like he wasn't there; like he wasn't hurt.

It was then when he raised his head, his narrow eyes meeting my own large, round ones. I swallowed, wincing as he was about to speak but doubled over in pain, grasping his side. I panicked slightly,

"A-are you okay?" My eyes were frantic, looking everywhere from his slightly bloodied face, already forming bruises under his eye and jaw, and his side that he was holding, "you don't look so good..." my obvious remark seemed to make him chuckle slightly, head still lowered exhaustedly.

He didn't answer right away, eyes squeezed shut as he took a deep breath before he looked back up at me, "I'm fine." He stubbornly looked back down to the dirty concrete beneath us and put a bloodied palm against it, pushing himself up into a squat and groaning as he stood to his full height.

We were only thirteen, but he easily towered over me. I wasn't short for my age, but I wasn't exactly tall either. This boy looked like he could already be in high school. His build was lean, but already slightly muscular. His hair was groomed neatly atop his head, bangs perfectly styled even after what he just went through minutes ago. His complexion was slightly tanner than my own but soft and creamy like the sun had kissed him just enough to grant him some color. I couldn't tell if he had been held back a grade or if he was simply blessed with good genes.

He grunted and moved to step away from the wall, but his leg seemed to give out, sending him toppling into me. I luckily caught him around the waist just before we both went down, my own ankle twisting uncomfortably as I struggled to hold up his weight before he stumbled back to both feet.

"Please," I started, looking at him as the chilly wind blew past us and through our hair, "let me take you to the nurse's office." He huffed, closing his eyes for a moment and running a hand down his face before looking down at where my arm was secured around his waist helping him carry his weight.

He nodded and took the first step back toward school. The first few movements were clumsy and left us both slightly embarrassed. When he'd start to lose his balance, his grip tightened around my shoulder, tinting my cheeks pink and willing that it was simply the cold weather.

"I'm Chanwoo," he offered into the quiet space around us as we neared the entryway of the student administration office, holding the heavy mahogany door ajar just enough for us to both squeeze through, "Lee Chanwoo." His hand that wasn't clasped around my shoulder reached out in front of us, open and waiting for me to meet him in the middle.

"Yoo Hyun-ki," I replied, grasping his hand with my own and shaking lightly.

In that instant, his eyes softened, and his lips parted, flourishing into a smile brighter than any star I'd ever seen. Even as his face was a mess, and his voice was nothing more than a tired rasp, he shone like a beacon of light in a world full of darkness. I felt my own lips start to form a grin along my face, a flush spreading high across my cheekbones.

Probably from the cold weather.

"Nice to meet you, Ki." The sudden, new nickname made my brows raise high, confusion written along my face. I wasn't one to have many friends, and the ones I did never gave me a nickname. He laughed softly, clapping me on the back lightly before nodding his head in the direction of the nurse's office, "Come on," his smile still shone bright and soft all at once, "Mind helping me walk just a few more steps?"

As we walked into the nurse's office, his smile never completely faded. Even as the head nurse walked up to us, face twisted in horror, it never fell off his face.

His smile seemed to be contagious, the nurse looking puzzled as to how he was smiling when he was in such condition, but I sighed and couldn't help as my own lips seemed to turn upwards as well.

I don't know if he just smiled to put on a strong face or if he was always like this. Either way, there's a comfort behind it that makes me feel like it doesn't matter how badly hurt he ever gets, he'll just keep on smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Remember, if you'd like to read the whole story so far you can find it on Wattpad @starlightsharky or by using this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Have a great rest of your day/night! .· * • ˚
> 
> ~ Sharky <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you again for reading! Remember, if you'd like to read the whole story so far you can find it on Wattpad @sharkymaru or by using this link:
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/223440176-remembering-you-bxb
> 
> Have a great rest of your day/night! .· * • ˚
> 
> ~ Sharky <3


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